Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Episode # 402 - January 6th, 2015

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23 comments:

Hylandr said...

Wow. Interesting discussion. Kinda scary that some of my Facebook friends just recently had the whole "straight acting" discussion recently. (More about the phrase and how it reflects gay stereotypes.) It's amazing how some people take offense at gay men who are attracted to other masculine men. I only wish Kyle was there to give Richard a talking to.

Anonymous said...

Well, let's be fair, sometimes there's good reason to take offense at gay men who say they only want "masculine" men, whatever that means.

There absolutely CAN be a *lot* of internalized homophobia to that claim, rather than just being a simple preference (like for blond hair or swimmer's build). It depends on the situation and the man, but let's not pretend it's *never* homophobic.

Mark Ehlers said...

Some guys are attracted to the drama queen and some are attracted to the butch truck driver. There's diversity in our community because there's diversity in attraction. No one should point a finger and cry "homobobia" because of one's preference.

Anonymous said...

I think that the homophobia comes into play when describing a gay man as being a woman, or a lesbian as being male. The traits that people are attracted to are not the sole possession of one sex, nor are they traits that determine whether someone is male or female.

Dennis said...

I'm sorry, but I have encountered too many "Jakes" in my life. He IS homophobic. Only wanting to date masculine guys, because he is probably in reality a big queen himself, which he hides inside that big bear exterior.

Michelle said...

He can't help who he is attracted to. If you want to call it "Straight acting" so be it. Richard is way too touchy.

Sean said...

This is obviously bringing up issues for Richard, after all he went through back when he was dating the guy that dumped him because he wasn't straightacting enough. I don't really blame him for being mad, but I also think Jake should be allowed to date whoever he wants to. Jake could've maybe been a little more sensitive in how he described the date though. But then he probably doesn't know about Richard's history with the issue.

Ardenwolfe said...

Interesting. I want to see how this plays out. Still saying Richard will eventually hook up with Jake.

synnerman said...

Homophobia is homophobia: the crack about his aunt mildred, sleeping in a pink satin gown.

There is "attraction" and there's being a dick. Jake is a dick.

Gaz said...

no such thing as 'homophobia' a 'phobia' is they are scared, they are not scared, just arseholes

gay has many levels, from the drama queen through the guy you never believe is gay (but possibly wish was) to the guy who just happens to prefer sex with men. I take it Jake was saying he does not want the drama queen type and wants someone more like himself.

everyone is entitled to love WHO they want without fear of recrimination.

Greg, have a idea for a 'bonus' page but will drop you a note about it ;)

Anonymous said...

Loved the last panel. Frosty's speech bubble. Nothing wrong with wanting to date a butch gay man.

ShaunNJ said...

It may not necessarily be homophobia if one wants to date someone more "masculine". I think where Jake was wrong was being so insulting - especially about a man who's a friend of Richard, and considering Richard might be described as a bit femme himself. I wish men who behave in "masculine" ways weren't called "straight-acting". To me, "straight-acting" is being closeted and pretending to be hetero. I agree Richard's character can be overly emotional - but that's the drama-loving side of him.

D said...

So what if Jake wants a manly man. He said he had a nice time. Richard pried and pushed--"when are you seeing him again." Jake said he wanted a manly man, not a man who plays with or collects dolls. That may be a turn off for him. Why deal with something you know you're not attracted to, will not want to make love with, and don't want. Jake wants a dude...not some sissy.

Anonymous said...

What happened to the gay community welcoming ALL people? Were is the unity? However, I found Jake's comments to be off putting and homophobic. Someone here stated that the reason Jake wants a "real man" is because he's a big girl himself and this is true. But that whole judging because his date has a doll collection and Jake making comments about his aunt and pink nightgowns was nothing short of sick and generalizing. I really think that this was offensive and Richard was right to be offended and upset. A great guy is a great guy whether he is in a dress or a thong. But that's an argument for the "gay community" to continue to have.
What a homophobe! And a bottom at that!

Mark said...

Pretty hilarious to take offense at a guy turned off by feminine men and then insult him by calling him a bottom. If that was your idea of a slam, it sounds like you have more in common with Jake than you'd care to admit.

I think I'm going to enjoy this story line. Richard was too sensitive, but Jake was too blunt. It's a delicate issue in our community, and one where it's easily possible for both sides to be offensive.

But for the record, Jake, I also would not be interested in dating a man with a doll collection.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that it's a guy being turned off by fem men but it's the way to which he has done it. It's usually bottoms that make such statements. You should respect everyone's feelings. Isn't that what the gay community is about?

LiamB said...

Nothing that Jake said, said that he didn't think the date had a right to exist or do what made him happy. He even said it was nice. but clearly this isn't the type of guy he is interested. Nor is being attracted to masculine/femme guys an indication of whether one is a top or bottom. I might also add, that accepting people doesn't necessitate dating them. People are attracted to who they are attracted to, and demanding people be attracted to everybody is just childish.

Anonymous said...

Liam: WHen assumptions are made about "fem" its generalizg. Isn't is? It's not the fact that he wasn't interested that angers some people here, it's HOW Jake stated it. He came off as a jerk. He wants a STRAIGHT acting "real" man which in the gay community and other societies can be seen as a TOP man. You know this so why pretend otherwise? You see a "fem" and you automatically ASSUME that he's a bottom or you see a "rugged" guy and you ASSUME that he's a top. That's just the way that it is. From the episode, the guy gave him good conversation and made him dinner. If Jake wasn't interested or turned off from his doll collection then he should have left SOONER rather than LATER. He put that guy down after the guy made efforts to kind of date him. He can't see past EXTERIOR like Drew or Breyer. It's called being shallow......Right?

Ry said...

Regardless of the semantics over "straight acting" and "homophobia," Jake never gave a criteria for Richard to use in setting up his date. On the other hand, Richard never asked what Jake's preferences were.
Right now, Richard is trying to save face after what he thought was a good set up, turned out to be a mistake. He's just been embarrassed/humiliated.
Jake, while honest, sounds ungrateful for what Richard tried to do for him.

Ivan said...

As someone who was closeted for a long time, I remember first coming out and not wanting to be seen with (or date) very fem/flamboyant men. I finally realized that I was prejudging them, much like I didn't want to be judged. That ultimately opened me up to some of the greatest people/friends I've ever had the privilege of knowing.

So I understand the Jakes of the world. However, now I feel sad for them and what they're missing.

Anonymous said...

Ivan:
True and guys that are fem can actually be masculine and vice versa! Gay people don't like being prejudged and yet they do the same thing themselves. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Jake is no different than the other so called gay men out there who are callous. Given that gut of his, I don't think that he should be judging anyone

Anonymous said...

It's a little too easy to let Jake of the hook and call it "just what he's attracted to". It's more than just if a guy is tall or short, dark or blond, etc. He's making a judgement, as a lot of the comments here have pointed out, and that judgement is that "Fem= lesser, straight-acting = better". That, ladies and gentlemen, absolutely stems from internalized homophobia, and a lot of us used to BE Jakes before we learned better.

TChris Gardner said...

I'm a bit late on reading I guess but here's my 2 cents. People are attracted to what they're attracted to. Some like Twinks, Bears, or whatever. In our culture in the States we seem to believe you have to either be Robert Redford or Nathan Lane. What we're attracted to is often programmed by what we watch on tv or wherever. Yet, we keep feeling like we should be attracted to anyone who comes along because we should all be equal.
Sadly, we are not. No more than the straight community is.
I like what I like. You like what you like. What we could do is learn to be nicer about it. Anonymous said Jake shouldn't be picky with his gut. That's pretty judgemental. Couldn't we say things in a nicer way so we aren't disparaging each other?
I know I'm thick and older. I don't think I'm repulsive but I wouldn't know that to go to a gay bar. So I can either shape myself to fit the stereotypes I'm interested in, hang out with healthier people, or live alone.

I think if we could get past the superficialness of instant dating, we;d all be a lot happier.